Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I'm baaaaack :)

Well a ton of days have come and gone since my attempt to blog about the 30 day purge of the house. just in coming back to my blog validates changes I have had in the inside. Not that I had hundreds of blogger's following me but the fact that even 1 person knew I was suppose to do something and i did not follow through would of embarrassed me to the point i would of never came back and probably would of deleted the blog so it would been forgotten and no proof. (i have in the past)

I feel no need to make excuses or even feel bad, LIFE HAPPENS desire to people please and no self beating guilt. It feels great to just be back and moving forward, if i blog I blog if I do not then I do not. There is a lot of freedom in that and I think brings back the fun into writing.

So what brings me back?? Funny enough i continued to purge the house and work on it as life allowed and I have made some great progress..there are just a few boxes to go through and my closet, a few boxes in the study room to sort through and that just leaves the garage.

My friend Bobbie helped me with an initial purge or a GIANT pile of crap i had covering the floor, we were so amazed by the end of the day of the impact of  just sorting trash/keep/donation items. I learned a few things about myself that day..

I have a hoard paper LOL, I do not know I would say I am a hoarder, I do not intentionally keep paper I just do not deal with it, bag it till bag is full box it then into the garage...or it piles ad piles and i needed a crisis cleaning so into a bag or box then out to the garage to sort through

this is very interesting though, as we were sorting I experienced anxiety..especially if bobbie had a bag and was like it is just trash..she must of read my face because she then said take a quick I could see the bag was trash but I had to physically go through the bag! Just like you see the hoarders on TV having to touch every item..some items I agonized on the inside over..I could not believe what i was experiencing. i really felt crazy through the process. Well I am happy to report that with the support of my good friend and my CR steps I worked through it and let go. As the hours went by I sorted faster and faster..i still however had to physically see everything that went

So my point is as my house has lost a lot of clutter and weight and area of my life feels good and not out of control so my focus is not 100% given to the house I have been more alert to myself. The weight and the clutter I have collected over the years since the birth of my oldest. Well almost 15 years later it is time to stop blaming pregnancy and having kids. I acquired my current health same way I did all that paper, putting me to the side to figure out "later". well later never comes and tomorrow is always yesterday.

I am literally struggling to keep up with the kids physically, keeping them active and healthy requires me to be active and healthy and right now it feels like it is killing me..but i know it is not. I've tried sitting on the couch eating ice cream waiting for health to just happen, well just like the house is not going to de-clutter and organize itself neither is my wishful thinking of a healthy active lifestyle.

So I am back with a motivation to be healthy and active from the Inside Out :)

Small Tangible Goals:

1. Blog once a week
2. No sugary drinks/sodas etc.
3. My focus will be on movement and what I have to gain..not lose.

for those who can and willing to support and encourage me please do so by posting or commenting, even if it is just to say you where here :D

From the Inside Out....