Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Tuff lesson in Love your Neighbor As Yourself..

The bible is full of beautiful verses..Valentines Day brought Mark to mind today..

Mark 12:30-31

New International Version (NIV)
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[a] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] There is no commandment greater than these.”
I originally wanted to write about Chris and I celebrating our 14th Valentines this year but feel led to post about this first.
I want to bring attention to verse 31.."Love your neighbor as yourself". We know that "neighbor" refers to anyone we come in contact with. I am personally dealing with this in my heart but I want to talk about my dear R..she is 7 years old and she loves so big and she is a victim of bullying.
I guess we all are in some way or form and honestly maybe have been on the bully side at times. I know I have been on both sides. Bullying comes in many forms, and with technology it comes delivered in many forms as well. With dear R it is at her school.
She has made two little friends she pals around with at her new school, which is great. However, recently her two friends have missed school and she was told by the other girls who group up in the class that she had to move from their spot at the table and on other occasions she is told there is no room for her. On the playground they tell her whether or not she can play with them.
She has experienced this since the beginning and didn't say anything. I think her two friends missing school two days in a row was too much for her to bare the other girls treatment towards her..the rejection was very painful for her.
It was painful to sit here and listen and watch her cry as she told me what had been happening. I could see the burden of carrying this alone in her eyes. She doesn't understand why she isn't good enough..I prayed God would help me say the right thing to her. At first all I could do was hold her and tell her it was ok to cry.
She proceeded to tell me how great her day is until lunch and recess and then how lonely it is. Seriously broke my heart that she was experiencing rejection in such a mean way.

bul·ly, verb, -lied, -ly·ing, adjective, interjection

a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
Looking further to a definition is 6.

to act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.
These girls when R is without her friends they intimidate and domineer her freedom of choices during lunch and recess.

Now some may say well they don't want to sit with her so what..its not just that..Intentionally going out of their way to let her know she is not wanted is. Allowing her to play with them just so they can tease her is.
My point is as I struggle with loving my neighbor and forgiveness I had to find a way to help R love those girls and forgive them anyways.
The biggest thing that came out of this is I need to take time to talk with my kids more about their day. As her mom I feel I should of known something was wrong. But like me R is very good at putting on a mask, which I didn't even know she had until this happened last week.
I need to encourage her and tell her daily how special she is and how much God loves her. So many hurting girls and women in our world today because they do not believe they are good enough.
We prayed for her day, we prayed for those girls and we talked about forgiving and showing kindness even if we think it is undeserved. The most important thing I told her is that she is good enough, she is so beautiful and special, sometimes it takes others awhile to see it. But what those girls are doing to her is absolutely NOT her fault. God made her special and I told her to be herself because she is the only one who can be like her. God only made one of her. 
It is very important that I continue to teach my children at home to show kindness to everyone they come across and to not participate in any kind of bullying.  Rooted in bullying is rejection and it feeds low self esteem and hurts children as well as adults and leads to self mutilation, drugs, drinking,eating disorders, promiscuous sex..returned violence and as we know can also lead to death.
So R's first experience with bullying and rejection..I pray for her heart and for wisdom to help guide them through life's tuff lessons.
Below is a video I came across searching for an encouraging song R could have in her heart when she ever doubts herself or her self worth. Beautiful girl with an amazing voice speaks out against bullying for her and her friends through music.

Jesus Was bullied and Rejected and yet he Loved and Gave His Life for all of us. He is how we should Love....
How do you or would you encourage your child(ren) to love others in these kinds of situations?

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