Thursday, July 26, 2012

Now what?...

Stepped on the scale today for the first time in a while. I only confirmed what my clothes already have known. (which is why I've been living in my pj's). Binge eating and furthering numbing myself with food to stay in denial. How did I deal with this news... Pizza, fried chicken, cupcakes and drowned myself in Gossip Girl on Netflix.

Sigh...only did it to myself. If I don't start facing my food issues I'll be. 300 lbs. before I know it.

But for right now, I feel very sick. From 1, eating foods that make me sick and 2, the number on the scale. Very overwhelming.

No big blogging plans or promises, no diets or fitness plans. Just sadness and a wave of a white truce flag. I don't want to war with my body anymore, but I don't know how to stop now what..?? I just want to sleep so I don't have to think about it.

From the Inside Out..


  1. oh i hear ya', chrystal! welcome to juicing and feeling fit and fancy! i applaud you on showing your starting weight to the world, i think it helps us to stick with it...hard as it is to let the world when i started my blog, it took me 2 days to get the courage up to jot down 268...true...but i did it, and i haven't looked back. :)

    1. it was very hard and it was a very humbling moment. I'm still in this cautious mode mentally but I do believe that moment was my rock bottom moment or I wouldn't of posted it. I look forward to my next upcoming juice fast. The hubs is joining me this time and I look forward to not being lonely this time around. In a house of 7 it was something I struggled with immensely last time, but everyone was very supportive during that week.